Lucha Libre a.k.a one of the craziest if not the craziest things I’ve seen.
I don’t know if you have heard anything of Mexican wrestling before but all I imagined was some butchy dudes with full face masks. And well… it’s wrestling so it’s fake. Fake it was and ooooh how over the top acting. And the Oscar goes to…
Anyway, one night I joined my friends to see the Lucha Libre match without too many expectations. In Thailand, I saw live Thai boxing and it was great. I pictured something similar except there will be funky face masks and wrestling instead of actual martial arts. The arena was quite empty, mostly locals but some tourists like us as well. And a bunch of kids.
The first round was pretty funny. First came the referee and he looked hilarious. No offense man! Fat, smiley and nothing like a fighter. Then the real fighters came out and the match could begin. Fake slaps and a lot of fake cries of pain. Wrestlers rolling off from the arena dramatically holding their head or crutch.
The second round was all about the ladies. This one was less fighting and more drama. Calling each other names and drama about the “hot” referee guy and of course pulling each other from the hair. Until this part, the show was just funny and ridiculous but then it went way overall expectations and imagination.
Round three. First, a guy dressed in monkey suit shows up. Next wrestler is his companion “the gay guy” followed by a slightly gay but seemingly a macho military guy. Their opponents were the jungle king, a guy who from all the other fighters actually looked like a wrestler, and of course a major shemale to compete with the other drama queen. This had nothing to do with fighting anymore but just full on the weirdest show ever.
Basically, I just realized I paid to watch a shemale, a monkey and some other wrestlers to fake punch each other, push each other, grab each other from the crutches and pull a massive thong wedgie and even kiss. The wrestling went off from the arena and they started fighting in the audience. At one point the gay wrestler started yelling at us to move and then he threw the jungle king into our chairs once we realized to get our asses out of there. All the chairs flew around and the fighting continued while we were all watching in shock holding on to whatever belongings we could grab.
The craziest thing for me was that parents took their little kids to watch the show. Even babies were there. Babies! And the little kids think it’s all real and they are growing up with this fighting and cursing. I hope some of their first words don’t include puta or pendejo. One kid sat next to me and started enthusiastically explaining the show. My Spanish is still in progress but that kid showed me who is the best one and who will die. Luckily no one died. The kid would probably be okay with it though because he helpfully brought a chair to one of the fighters so the guy could use it to smash another’s head. Some of the audience members were also really into it like it’s real. Calling bad names to the team they did not like.
The last match was the most brutal I guess. The guys looked like fighters… more or less. And their fighting, though fake, was harsh. Even if it was not real, the wrestlers definitely got hurt quite a lot. They were still falling on their backs and heads and asses on the hard floor and couple of times they accidentally hurt each other too.
Once in a while, the wrestlers engaged with the audience and I got “lucky” with a quick lap dance and a sweaty smooch on my cheek. At times there was so much going on, fighting in the arena, outside the arena and drama in the audience that it was hard to comprehend. I was literally watching my mouth open and in shock.
I can’t believe what I had witnessed that night. It’s hard to even put it in words but it was completely insane and worth every penny. You must see it once you are in Mexico and then you will really understand how crazy it was. Definitely, one of my top crazy experiences but I loved it. It was as if you were on drugs and suddenly some crazy hallucinations kicked in. You can’t just come up with stuff like that. Mental! I wish there was only an age limit because these kids are going to grow up crazy. More material for those Mexican telenovelas…
Still, best 50 pesos I ever spent!